Top 5 Things You Should Know About Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is often viewed as the last attempt for a couple to reconcile differences. In fact, couples therapy is a highly effective proactive strategy to mitigate the problems experienced by a couple. As with individual adult therapy, couples therapy tries to address issues by discussing the issues candidly. The big difference is unlike individual therapy, couples therapy addresses the needs, goals, and desires of two clients involved in an intimate relationship.
Before you commit to working out your issues in a therapy setting, you should know the top five things about couples therapy.
Couples Counselors Do Not Save Relationships
One of the misconceptions couples share concerning therapy is they believe a couples counselor offers the solutions to save their relationships. If both partners do not make the effort to find ways to improve their relationship, nothing a couples counselor does can save what is destined to fail. A couples therapist offers advice, as well as educates couples, but it is up to both partners to be willing to work hard to fix what appears to be intractable problems.
Be Ready for a Significant Amount of Work Outside of Sessions
Couples therapy is not an event that crosses an hour a week off your busy schedule. Although you should come away from therapy sessions with the foundational skills to improve your relationship, you must work on those skills for the rest of the week. Couples therapy does not last forever, which means if one or both partners ignore the work required outside of sessions, you might find yourselves back at square one living in a disintegrating relationship.
Couples therapy offers a highly structured environment for developing conflict resolution skills, while a home environment provides a more realistic place to practice newly learned skills in real time.
Your Hearts Must Be Into It
We briefly touched on this point: Both partners must be 100 percent committed to couples therapy. Any wavering by just one partner can negatively impact sessions, as well as the situations that develop at home in which the relationship is put to the test. One of the keys to ensuring both partners are willing to make couples therapy work involves determining if both partners want the same things out of the relationship.
Open Communication is a Must
Couples therapy does not stand a chance of improving the relationship if one or both partners do not openly and honestly communicate with the therapist and the other partner. Even if you feel ashamed or embarrassed about certain topics, you should still share your thoughts and feelings to develop a better understanding of the roadblocks impeding the growth of the relationship. Both partners also should not agree for the sake of agreeing.
Couples Therapy is Not Just About Resolving Conflicts
Another misconception concerning couples therapy is that it is just for couples trying to resolve conflicts. You and your partner should consider couples therapy at any time. Waiting until the last minute to save a relationship typically means the relationship is in big trouble. You and your partner should consider couples therapy as a proactive solution to prevent small issues from developing into relationship-threatening issues. Couples therapy is an effective tool to help couples cope with changing life circumstances, such as becoming empty nest parents.